I sometimes wonder if I am having a mid-life crisis? If I was, what would that look like? I always thought that buying a new sports car was the cliché. Ben has hinted that he might buy one next year and as we are the same age perhaps we are mid-life after all?

For me, I just feel really discontented. I am 36 years old and I don’t know who I want to be when I grow up. When I was asked that question as a child the answer was always the same “a mum”. Now I am a mum to 5 amazing children but does that mean I have achieved every goal I ever had? Because I gave birth??

I am envious of anyone who knows what they want to do by the age of 36.

Here are a couple of ideas I have had in the last year. Remember…mid-life crisis.

Home Educating

The fantasy:    Take the kids out of school so I can have them home all the time. We could go on fun trips, read books while sitting under trees drinking lemonade, and the children can take it in turns to make dinner.

The reality:      In the summer I had a particularly awful day with the children and to top it off I had an appointment to go to the Apple Store to get my phone replaced. I remember sending Ben a text – and not a very good text – minutes before handing my phone to an Apple Store employee, who took my phone to the back room to examine it further (i.e. read my texts and flick through my photos). I don’t think he really did because he probably would have approached me with caution after reading THAT text. I love my kids but I don’t have the strength to be around them 24/7. Six weeks of summer was more than enough!

World-schooling

The fantasy:    Sell everything, travel the world with the kids. We will use the world as our curriculum, we will immerse ourselves in new cultures, and meet diverse people. It would be a once in a lifetime experience.

The reality:      As lovely as this idea sounds because I love to travel, we are not impulsive sell-all-our-stuff types of people. It took us 4 months to choose a new dishwasher.

Obviously they’re not winning ideas. Which brings me to this blog… and don’t tell me this is another cliché. Another Mummy blogger.

I see it as an opportunity to explore the things that make me happy, and share these things with the world because maybe there is someone out there who is looking for a bit more happiness?

What I can say is that even though I don’t know what I’m doing next, I’m excited about the future whatever it may be.

Please leave a comment below, and tell me I’m not the only one who feels like this!! What does your mid-life crisis look like?

Clare xx

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